The ToS Characters play ToS
by vanNeon
Summary: This is the adventure the Tales of Symphonia characters have playing their own video game. It should be amusing. Rated T for Zelos's perverse comments which will happen eventually. Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia or its characters. SPOILERS.
1. Chapter 1

Note: There are four consoles, all playing the same game, in the same room.

Console#1(C1) has Lloyd, Colette, Genis, and Raine.

Console#2(C2) has Regal, Presea, Zelos, and Sheena.

Console#3(C3) has Kratos, Yuan, Botta(who is still alive after all!), and Mithos(also still alive) in his kid form.

Console#4(C4) has Emil, Marta, Richter, and Tenebrae(all from Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World).

Noishe watches all of them, mostly focusing on C1 because Lloyd is playing it. He will randomly make a comment sometimes.

Now, a brief story as to how this came about:

The characters from both Tales of Symphonias were somehow in the real world, and had been for about six months. Lloyd, Kratos, and Tenebrae decided to ask around as to which(the anime, the manga, or the video game) was closest to what actually happened by asking die-hard fans for short summaries. After it was discovered that the video game was the closest to truth, Lloyd and Tenebie went shopping for four gamecubes and four copies of Tales of Symphonia. Upon seeing that they were characters from a video game, the person working the check-out counter gave them everything for free.

"Okay everyone, something new for us to do!", shouted Lloyd. "I am now in possession of four copies of our video game and four Nintendo Gamecubes. Using the conveniently placed four TVs downstairs, we can all play the game at the same time!" "Yaaay!", shouted everyone, and they rushed downstairs to play their new videogame.

Note: Assume, unless stated, that everything is happening at once.

Also, the bolded is the videogame, while the rest is what happens in this story-type-thing.

**We begin this game by watching a movie of the high view of the world.**

**Narrator: Once upon a time, there existed a giant tree that was the source of**

**mana.**

Colette: Was that the one you named Yggdrasill, Lloyd?

Lloyd: Shut up! They *gestures toward C4* aren't supposed to know its name!

Emil: Ha! Now I as Ratatosk can pwn your plan! Though I don't want to since I'm a wimpy and nice character. Wait, what was it you said?

Lloyd: Uhm! We didn't say anything!

Marta: How about we pay attention to the game?!?

Mithos: You named it after me? I'm flattered!

**A war, however, caused this tree to wither away, and a hero's life was**

**sacrificed in order to take its place.**

Colette: Wait, _what_? But, I could have sworn I saw it right before we were stuck here!

Lloyd: _Oooohh_, it must have been the one before Yggy!

Colette: Oh that one.

**Grieving over the loss, the goddess disappeared unto the heavens.**

Sheena: I don't believe in the goddess.

Zelos: Well if she's mentioned in the videogame she must be real.

Sheena: *slap* You're just saying that because if the goddess wasn't real you would have no right to power at all.

Kratos: She's real. Trust me.

Lloyd: How do you know?

Kratos: I am the mysterious character who reveals very little information and knows everything.

Mithos: This is true. I've known him for 4000 years, I should know.

**The goddess left the angels with this edict:**

Botta: The enunciation in this guy's voice is all wrong!

"**You must wake me, for if I should sleep, the world shall be destroyed."**

Zelos: Pfft! As if!

Regal: Shut up! Enjoy the game! Stop it with the obscure foreshadowing!

Presea: I would like to point out the fact that everyone in this room knows what happened.

Emil: I don't.

Regal: Then pay attention.

**The angels bore the Chosen One, who headed towards the tower that reached up unto the heavens.**

Genis: Ooh, yay, the Tower of Salvation!

Raine: *sarcastically* No, it's a space elevator.

Lloyd: El-e-what?

Raine: …Never mind. *facepalm*

**And that marked the beginning of the regeneration of the world.**

Colette: That's not how it happened!

Lloyd: That was the introduction. It was supposed to be like that.

Colette: Oh.

**The camera fades to a black screen.**

**Woman's Voice: Lloyd Irving, wake up! Lloyd!**

Lloyd: But I'm awake! See? I'm right here!

Raine: It means the game you.

Genis: Why does Lloyd get to appear first?

Tenebrae: Because he's the protagonist.

Lloyd: Pro-what?

Noishe: *Whine*

**The camera shows Lloyd who is sleeping while standing. A chalkboard eraser was**

**thrown into Lloyd's face.**

Lloyd: I remember that. It hurt.

**Lloyd: Gahh!**

**The woman approaches Lloyd.**

**Woman: …How do you manage to sleep standing?**

Genis: He has a gift. I wonder if it's hereditary?

Kratos: Hey!

**Lloyd: (woke up) …Oh. Professor Raine. Eh…is class over?**

Raine: Oh! Fun! Me! But what's with the hair?

Genis: It looks like you in the morning!

Raine: *whacks Genis with Ruler From Nowhere*

Genis: Oww!

**Raine walked back to the teacher's desk.**

**Raine: (Sigh) Never mind. Let's have someone else answer the question. Genis,**

**how about you?**

**Genis: Yes, Raine.**

Genis: Yay! I'm next!

**The camera switches from Raine returning to the teacher's desk, providing a view of the students.**

**Genis: Mithos, the hero, brought about the end of the Ancient War in the Holy**

**Ground of Kharlan.**

Mithos: That's me!

Yuan: I feel unloved.

Kratos: We are so underappreciated.

**Raine: Correct. Afterwards, Mithos, the hero, formed a pact with the Goddess**

**Martel to seal away the Desians whom caused the war.**

Raine: How dare they, those game creators? They made me use incorrect grammar!

**Lloyd: But the Desians came back and are now causing everyone to suffer!**

Yuan: *whispers to Mithos and Kratos*

All three of them: Designs! Those horrible designs! Why do they even exist?

Lloyd: *whispers to Colette*

Both of them: To make the world prettier!

**Raine: We covered that in class last time, remember? When the Seal weakens the**

**Desians reappear. Just like they have now.**

**Lloyd: I…I knew that. I…I just forgot…**

Genis: Always.

Lloyd: Hey, shut up, Genis!

**Raine: Today is the Day of Prophecy. It is a very important day, which the**

**Chosen of Mana will receive an oracle from the Goddess Martel. Now, Chosen**

**One…Colette.**

Zelos: What about me? I'm a Chosen too, you know!

Sheena: You idiot! This is Sylvarant!

Zelos: …Oh. That's no fun.

**Colette: (stands up from her seat) Yes, ma'am.**

Colette: I sound kind of…

Genis:...Preppy?

Colette: _Annoying_.

**Raine: Tell us about the journey of world regeneration.**

Emil: Now I'm confused.

Tenebrae: I think Colette will merely describe the process. It hasn't happened yet ingame.

Emil: Oh.

**Colette: It is a journey to seal the Desians. Upon passing the trials of the**

**Goddess Martel, the Summon Spirits that protect the world awaken, and mana is**

**restored.**

Colette: Aah! The voice they gave me! It's annoying! Turn it off!

**The camera switches to Lloyd who slept again while standing.**

Raine: Wake up, Lloyd!

**Raine: Correct. I suppose we should expect the Chosen herself to know the**

**answer to that one. Mana depletion is the cause of the current food shortages**

**and droughts. It is said that this occurs because the Desians consume vast**

**amounts of mana in their human ranches.**

Lloyd, Colette, and Genis: BOOM!

**Lloyd woke up again and Colette looked back at Lloyd for a brief moment and**

**turns around.**

Richter: *patronizingly* Aww…

Colette and Lloyd: *kill*

**Raine: The Chosen's journey has two purposes—to revive mana as well as defeat**

**the Desians. Now, for the next question—**

**Suddenly, a light flashed on the screen.**

Genis: AAAAAHH! IT BUUUURRRRNNNSSSS!!

**Lloyd: Wh…what was that?!**

**Colette: That's…**

**Raine: Settle down. It would seem that the time for the oracle has come. I will**

**go and check on the chapel. Everyone, stay here and study on your own.**

**Understood?**

**As Raine runs off…**

**Colette: Professor! I'll go with you!**

**Raine: No, Colette. If it is the oracle, the priests will come here for you.**

**Wait here with everyone else.**

Zelos: Because she's secretly going off to-

Sheena and Raine: *ducktape*

**Raine left the scene.**

**Colette: Yes, ma'am.**

**The player is now given control over Lloyd.**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine.

**Chapter 2**

**The player is now given control over Lloyd.**

**C1**

Lloyd stared off into the distance.

"LLOYD! Move!" shouted Genis.

"Uh… OH! Right! Sorry." stammered Lloyd.

(Note: Here Lloyd is first player because he is the main character.)

**C2**

"Ohh, Let's see how many different ladies I can hit on!"

Regal sighed. "They don't let you hit on females until you join the party."

"Aawww…", moaned Zelos.

Sheena took this opportunity to whack Zelos upside the head, resulting in a loud, "OW!" from Zelos.

(Note: Zelos is first player because they fought over it. Zelos won because he can fight well and heal himself.)

**C3**

"This is very interesting," mused Kratos. "Why is there a Colette-shaped hole in the wall?" He moved the Lloyd figure toward it.

(From this point on, assume that 'walk' or 'move' is ingame unless otherwise stated.)

"There's an option. You can examine it," noted Yuan.

**On C3, a set of ellipsis marks appeared over Lloyd's head.**

"…Weird," commented Mithos.

"This is very vague," said Botta truthfully.

(Note: Kratos is first player because he is the only one of C3 that actually is in the party for any length of time.)

**C4**

"We're not even in this game, are we?" asked Emil, a little put-out.

Marta said sadly, "I doubt it."

Richter, after short contemplation, noted, "I might have been in Sybak…No wait, I had already fled Ratatosk then…"

Tenebie pointedly said "I doubt any of us are in this game. Maybe we should all play the next one as well. But for now, let us exit the room to continue the plot."

(Note: Emil is first player because he is the protagonist of the next game.)

**As Lloyd tries to leave the classroom…**

**Genis: Lloyd! Where are you going? Don't tell me you're sneaking out! Raine**

**will get mad!**

**Lloyd: I'm really curious to find out what really happens to Colette when she**

**receives the oracle. They always talk about the Chosen of Regeneration and the**

**Day of Prophecy, but no one tells us what really happens.**

"NONSENSE!" shouted Genis, making everyone in the room jump.

"Yeah, that's not what I said," added Lloyd.

"…What _did_ you say?" inquired Raine hesitantly.

"I said, 'I'm bored and it's not like she'll catch us!'" responded Lloyd.

All of C1 wisely said nothing.

**Genis: But my sister said to stay and study by ourselves.**

Colette, Genis, Lloyd, Emil, and Sheena all announced at the same time, "Whoa, hey! You can choose what to say!"

"I think I'll choose 'It's research'" said Lloyd.

"Yeah, so will I." added Zelos.

**What happened to C1 and C2:**

**Lloyd: It's research.**

**Genis: That's just an excuse!**

"This game must be wrong. I would never say something that blatantly obvious," noted Genis, exercising his monumental ability to be kind of a brat.

"Yes you would," contradicted Raine. "Now be quiet."

**Lloyd: So? An excuse is an excuse, right? Don't be so stuffy. You're coming**

**too, right? We're best friends, after all! Colette, want to come along, too?**

After this followed a long conversation that is hard to express in words:

Lloyd: Why is my character such an idiot?

Genis: Because you _are_ one.

Lloyd: Hey, shut up, Genis!

Genis: …I think that's your catchphrase.

Lloyd: I have a catchphrase? Cool!

Kratos: *listens in* He was making fun of you, Lloyd.

**Colette: …Huh? Um, okay.**

**Colette gets up from her seat and approaches Lloyd and Genis.**

**Colette: So where to?**

**Lloyd: Where else?! That light! You're directly involved in all of this. Aren't**

**you curious?**

**Colette: Hmm…Are you curious about it?**

**Lloyd: Of course!**

**Colette: Okay, then I'll be curious about it, too.**

"Aww, you guys seem in love…" teased Zelos.

Marta peered over, "Wonderful!"

This lead Lloyd and Colette to take out the ducktape.

**Lloyd: (to Genis) See? Dwarven Vow #4: Don't depend on others. Walk on your own two legs. Okay then! Let's go to the temple!**

"There's nothing I hate more than people with no individuality," grunted Richter.

"Hey, now I kind of like herbs and kind of hate them! Don't bring that up!" protested Emil sheepishly.

"Shut up and go back to your console!" shouted all of C1 and C2.

**Genis: Not the Dwarven Vows again. You always use those when you need an excuse…**

"He still does…" sighed Genis.

"I think I'll choose, 'Okay, fine'", decided Emil.

"…So shall I," said Kratos.

**What happened to C3 and C4:**

**Lloyd: Okay, fine. Sheesh…**

**Genis: Honestly, Lloyd. It's not pretty when Raine gets mad.**

Raine smacked Genis for his disparaging remark.

Genis ducked. "See?"

Mithos rolled his eyes. "Go pay attention to your own console."

**Lloyd: Man…I was really looking forward to seeing what happens with the oracle.**

**The camera shows the pastor coming in clenching his body.**

**Pastor: Chosen One!**

**The pastor approaches Colette and then falls to the floor.**

**Colette: Pastor?!**

**Lloyd: Hey! Are you all right?!**

**Pastor: The Desians attacked the temple…**

Kratos, Mithos, and Yuan shouted in unison. "DESIGNS!!!"

Botta facepalmed. "…Are you going to do that every time 'Desians' are mentioned?" If so, this was going to be a long game.

**Genis: Wait, Iselia has a non-aggression treaty with the Desians.**

Kratos, Mithos, and Yuan continued to make Design jokes.

"-Wait a minute," realized Botta. "Aren't you guys the ones who named them that?"

Mithos responded arrogantly. "I named them that so they would know that they were inferior to us the four Seraphim."

"…That doesn't really make any sense," said Richter.

Kratos answered. "He wished for them to be mocked."

"But regrettably," declared Yuan, "we're the only ones mocking them."

"…I see," answered Richter, deciding to stay out of it.

**Lloyd: You mean that agreement where they don't attack the village as long as**

**we leave the human ranch alone?**

**Colette: Yes…Grandmother said it was to protect me…**

**Pastor: I don't…know why, but they have broken the treaty… Chosen**

**One…hurry…receive the oracle…**

**Colette: I will.**

**Pastor: (dying) Please…be careful… I regret that I was…unable**

**to…pro…tect…the…Cho…**

**Colette: Pastor, hang on!**

**The pastor died at the scene.**

"…This is horrible!" cried Emil.

Marta fangirled. "I know! Protect me so that this doesn't happen to us!"

_Oh great_, thought Emil.

**Lloyd: It's no good. He's gone…**

**Genis: No!**

**Genis and Colette covers their faces in grief. Later…**

**Colette: …I'm going.**

**Genis: Colette, there are Desians outside!**

"So… where do we come in?" Asked Botta hesitantly.

Kratos replied knowingly. "Soon. You'll see."

**Colette: Yes…but I have to go. I am the Chosen. My job is to accept the oracle**

**on the Day of Prophecy. Everyone, wait here, all right?**

"I must say, this is rather clichéd," criticized Tenebie.

**Genis: Lloyd, are you going to let Colette go by herself?!**

"Of course not!" Shouted Emil, as if it was obvious.

Over at Console 4, the resulting cutscene happened:

**Lloyd: I'm going, too. I can't let you go by yourself.**

**Colette: Are you sure? It's dangerous.**

Marta tried to hint to Emil. "See? He wants to protect her!"

"Not again…" moaned Emil, trying to avoid Marta's fangirlism.

**Lloyd: Dwarven Vow #1: Let's all work together for a peaceful world. Let's go.**

**Genis: Wait, I'm going, too. I'm worried about Raine.**

**Colette: Thanks, both of you.**

After seeing the above cutscene on C4, Kratos said, "To see what happens, I'll choose, 'I'll wait for you'."

The screen in front of C3 showed the cutscene caused by Lloyd's potential laziness.

**Lloyd: I'll wait for you. Colette says she'll be fine by herself.**

**Genis: I can't believe you Lloyd! I'm going with Colette!**

**Lloyd: …Okay, fine, I'll go. Besides, I'm worried about the Professor, too.**

**Colette: Thanks, both of you.**

**Colette and Genis join the party(on all consoles).**

The following conversations occurred simultaneously among all four consoles:

**C1**

Lloyd: Okay, let's see, since Genis is player 2…

Lloyd switched the characters Colette and Genis.

Genis: Ooh, let's see what Techs I can do!

**After checking…**

Genis: Aww! Just Fireball! This'll be a boring game!

Raine: … You'll learn more as we play.

Genis: …Oh.

Colette: Ooh, yay, I get to fight too? This should be fun!

**C2**

Zelos: Aww man, we're not in the party yet! I call playing as Lloyd!

Presea: I suppose I should fight as Colette, since that's the default for Player Two.

Sheena: Okay, then I'll be Genis.

**C3**

Kratos: I shall fight as Lloyd, since he is my son.

Mithos: I think I'll fight as Genis.

Yuan, being forced to fight as Colette, said nothing.

**C4**

Emil: I'll fight as Lloyd since we have similar fighting styles.

Marta: I'll fight as Colette!

Richter and Tenebie faced each other.

Richter: I suppose it's time.

Both of them: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!

Tenebie's paw morphed into a hand that had two fingers out. Richter held his hand flat.

Richter: Okay, I admit defeat. You get the privelage of fighting as Player Three.

Assume now that all characters are set to 'Semi-Auto'.

Author's note: Some of the things I kept 'chat style', so to speak, because it makes more sense that way.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: New chapter! Yay! I'm sorry I didn't finish it sooner, but I kinda forgot about it…

**________________________________________________________________________**

**Lloyd's group exits the classroom. Outside of the classroom of Iselia…**

**C1 and C2:**

**Lloyd: What's going on? It's awfully quiet.**

"…Because the music stopped," noted Zelos.

"Yep," said Lloyd, nodding.

**Genis: Where did everybody go?**

**Frank: Colette!**

**Frank appeared at the scene.**

**Colette: Father!**

**Genis: Frank!**

**Frank: Thank goodness you're safe.**

**Genis: Frank, what happened to everyone in the village?**

**Frank: They're all hiding. The Desians invaded the village just a short while**

**ago. Thankfully, no one was hurt. They passed through the village and headed**

**for the temple.**

"And they didn't destroy anything! Look at that! A work of beauty!" shouted Genis excitedly.

Zelos turned to Sheena. "What's he on about?"

Sheena responded, "Normally the Desians destroy any village they come to."

"This must be the only place they don't," noted Regal.

**Genis: Why?! Iselia has a non-aggression treaty with the Desians!**

**Lloyd: You mean that agreement where they don't attack the village as long as**

**we leave the human ranch alone?**

**Colette: Yes…Grandmother said it's to protect me… Oh! Where's Grandmother?**

**C3 and C4:**

**Colette: There's no one here…**

**Genis: They're scared and are hiding from the Desians!**

"DESIG-" started Mithos.

Botta took this opportunity to end things. "OH MY GAWD LOOK OVER THERE!!!"

Mithos looked about. "What? Where?"

Botta pulled out a roll of ducktape and, advancing toward Mithos, did something unnoticeable. "Now no more design jokes shall be made." He brushed his hands together finitely. "I wash my hands of this."

Kratos and Yuan silently chuckled to themselves, then pressed, 'A'.

**Frank: Colette!**

**Frank appeared at the scene.**

**Colette: Father!**

**Genis: Frank! Frank! Is it true that the Desians attacked?!**

**Frank: Yes, it's true. Thankfully, no one was hurt. They passed through the**

**village and headed for the temple.**

Mithos took on his Yggy form in order to remove the ducktape. "Yes they did."

"Aw crap!" swore Botta. "I forgot about this."

"BWAHAHA!!!!" cried Yggdrasill maniacally.

Botta silently turned toward Yggy and made use of his roll of ducktape.

"Mhphmm!" Yggdrasill turned back into Mithos, still ducktaped.

**Colette: Father, where is Grandmother?**

**All Consoles:**

**Frank: Phaidra is in the temple preparing for the ritual.**

**Lloyd: Phaidra's in the temple? But that's where the Desians…**

Kratos inquired, "Where did I show up?"

Lloyd racked his brain. "Uh…"

Genis, ever quick with answers, responded, "The Martel Temple."

"Oh, we're headed over there right now!" noted Zelos unnecessarily.

"Oh, good," said Kratos, worried for a then unknown reason.

**Frank: The priests are there with her. There's no need to worry. Now, Colette…**

**Colette: I know. I promise to fulfill my duty as the Chosen.**

**Frank: Good luck, Colette. (to Lloyd and Genis) Lloyd, Genis. You two should go**

**on home.**

**Lloyd: I'm worried about letting Colette go by herself. I'll go with her to the**

**temple.**

A Random Fangirl poofed into the room. "Aww, he wants to look out for her! You're so sweet, Lloyd!" She then poofed out again.

"…What the **** was that?" asked Lloyd bluntly.

Kratos deigned it appropriate to teach his son the ways of the outside world. "It's called a fangirl. They are common in these parts. They are vicious creatures that stalk their prey, refusing to give up until they succeed. When they capture their prey, they-"

"That's quite enough, Kratos!" interjected Raine.

**Genis: Me, too.**

**Frank: But…all right. Thank you. I'll wait at the house. Come back immediately**

**if anything happens.**

**Lloyd's group proceeds towards the exit. However, a monster blocked the exit.**

**Lloyd: Whoa, it's a monster!**

"No schist," remarked Zelos.

"Schist is a rock," noted Regal.

Zelos argued. "Still."

**Genis: I though the northern region where the temple is located was a**

**sanctuary! Why are there…**

**Colette: It must be part of the trial. Martel's trial involves battling**

**monsters.**

**Lloyd: We don't have time to talk! Let's get this thing!**

**Genis: Roger!**

**Lloyd's group fights the first set of monsters.**

**Author's note: The following is so rapid-fire-ly said it's not worth putting in story form:**

**C1:**

Genis: Aah! What should I do?

Raine: Just press the 'B' button for now.

Genis: Okay.

Lloyd: What about me?

Raine: Tap 'A' repeatedly to attack. Press 'B' to do Demon Fang.

Lloyd: Oh.

Colette: And me?

Raine: Move similarly to Lloyd.

Colette: Okay, Professor! ^_^

**C2:**

Zelos: *after listening in on C1's conversation* So then I press 'A' repeatedly.

Presea: And I do the same.

Sheena: Aww, man, it's not as fun to just randomly press 'B'.

Regal: At least you get to do something.

**C3:**

Kratos: *defeats the monster single-handedly*

Mithos: *rips ducktape off* Let us do stuff too!

Yuan: …

**C4:**

Emil: Oh, so I press this large green button a lot?

Marta: Yep! And so do I!

Tenebie: I'm pressing one button repeatedly… How odd…

**After Lloyd's group defeats the first set of monsters…**

**Lloyd: That was easy!**

Suddenly agreeable, Lloyd noted, "Yep! It was!"

**Colette: Lloyd, you're amazing!**

**Lloyd: Ah, well…I owe it to this thing, though.**

**Genis: Ah, that's right, the Exsphere.**

**Lloyd: Yeah. It's designed for combat and brings out my maximum strength.**

**Without this thing, I'd be nothing…**

**Colette: But you're still strong, Lloyd!**

**Genis: Yeah, at least his sword skills are good.**

"And even then…" muttered Kratos under his breath.

"WHAT did you say?" shouted Lloyd.

Kratos went into father-rant mode. "Well, you leave yourself too open for attacks, both physically and mentally. Also, you swing around too much, and…"

Genis smiled and nodded knowingly, and also sort of pityingly. "Lloyd, that's just part of having a father."

**Lloyd: (to Genis) …What do you mean, "at least"?!**

Genis showed remarkable ability for remembering events that happened a long time ago. "Exactly what I said."

**Suddenly, another monster appeared at the scene.**

**Lloyd: There's another one! Let's go, you two!**

**Colette: Wait, Lloyd! The Professor said magic is more effective than physical**

**attacks against non-physical and spiritual monsters.**

**Lloyd: Really?**

Raine looked at Lloyd with the air of an upset parent. "Lloyd? Do you remember that?"

Lloyd racked his brain. "Uh… No."

Raine slapped him.

**Genis: Yes!**

**Lloyd: Okay, then, I'll leave the Ghost to Genis. I'll go for the Zombie! Okay!**

**Here we go!**

**Genis: Yeah!**

**Colette: Okay!**

**All consoles fight the second set of monsters. After the second set of monsters are defeated…**

**Lloyd: It's important to choose the target wisely when there's a lot of**

**monsters, or if we're up against a dangerous one.**

**Colette: It's especially important when saving an ally that's in trouble.**

**Genis: We have to be careful.**

"That's just a cheap way to remind us to fight well," complained Zelos.

"Duh," remarked Genis, with an air of, "I told you so", even though he didn't actually tell him so.

Zelos responded in a very Zelos-y fashion. "I'd appreciate nothing more from the brat, thanks."

"I have a name, you know!" said Genis for the gazillionth time.

**Lloyd: (to Colette) Let's go to the temple!**

**Genis: Okay!**

**Colette: Yeah.**

**All consoles proceed to Martel Temple. Upon arrival, the camera views the**

**outside of Martel Temple with light coming out of the roof dome.**

**Lloyd: Whoa, that light really is coming from the temple!**

**Genis: Then an oracle is going to be conveyed. Colette's going to be the Chosen**

**of Regeneration.**

The entirety of C1 shouted at once, "WOOT! Congratulations, Colette!"

C2, C3, and C4 glanced at them. "What's that for?"

Lloyd facepalmed. "We're just trying to set the mood…"

**Colette: It's really, really bright!**

This time it was the turn of everybody, excluding Colette, to facepalm. Which they did. In a number of different character-significant ways. Richter even did the 'Jade Curtiss thing', which doesn't say much, since he overuses it wrongly constantly.

**Lloyd: Say, Colette…when the oracle is conveyed, you'll become the Chosen who**

**will save the world, right? You're going to be like the hero, Mithos! So maybe**

**you should act a little more…you know, Chosen-like…**

**Colette: Yeah! No problem. No problem.**

**Genis: (notices something nearby) Hey, there's a lot of commotion at the temple.**

**Lloyd: …You're right!**

**C3&C4:**

**The camera shows the entrance of the temple where fighting can be heard. Lloyd**

**approaches the stairs.**

**Lloyd: Okay! Let's go, you two!**

**Genis: Okay!**

**Colette: Yeah!**

**Colette tripped and fell to the floor.**

**Colette: Oww…**

**Lloyd rushes back to Colette.**

**Lloyd: Are you all right?**

**Colette: I'm fine. Sorry about that.**

"She tripped and nothing significant happened!" cried Emil, happy to have noticed something.

Tenebie mused. "This is truly the Apocalypse."

**C1&C2**

**The camera shows the pastor who is badly wounded and walking very oddly.**

**Pastor: Chosen One!**

**As the pastor approaches Lloyd's group, he fell to the floor and the camera**

**blacks out.**

**Colette: Pastor?!**

**Lloyd: Hey, are you all right?!**

**Later…**

**Pastor: The Desians broke the non-aggression treaty and attacked the temple…**

**Chosen One…quickly…the oracle…**

**Colette: I know.**

**Pastor: (dying) Please…be careful… I regret that I will not…be able to**

**pro…tect…the…Cho…sen.**

**The pastor died at the scene.**

**Colette: Pastor, hang on!**

**Lloyd: It's no good. He's…gone.**

**Genis: No!**

"What a random plot device…" noted Zelos knowingly.

**Genis and Colette cover their faces in grief. Later…**

**Colette: …I'm going.**

**Colette moves on.**

**Genis: Colette! There are Desians in there!**

This time it was Colette's turn to state the obvious. "Yep."

**Colette stops.**

**Colette: Yes…but I have to go. I'm the Chosen. My job is to accept the oracle**

**on the Day of Prophecy. The two of you, wait here, okay?**

**Genis: Lloyd, are you going to let Colette go by herself?!**

Lloyd cried protectively, "I'm going too! It's too dangerous for her alone!"

**C1:**

**Lloyd: I'm going, too. I can't let you go by yourself.**

**Colette: Are you sure? It's dangerous.**

**Lloyd: Dwarven Vow #1: Let's all work together for a peaceful world. Let's go.**

**Genis: Wait, I'm going, too. I'm worried about Raine.**

"I don't believe you really said that," said Raine, with the air of one who is attempting to guilt-trip someone else while seeming perfectly innocent.

Lloyd, ever protective of Genis from slaps, except for ever, said, "Well, he did."

**Colette: Thanks, both of you.**

Zelos noted, "I wonder what happens if you try to avoid the temple."

**C2:**

**Lloyd: I'll wait for you. Colette says she'll be fine by herself.**

Sheena glared at Lloyd. "I can't believe you Lloyd! You are such a jerk!"

**Genis: I can't believe you, Lloyd. Well, I'm following Colette!**

Regal mused. "This is ironic…"

**Genis approaches Colette.**

**Lloyd: …Okay, fine. I'll go, all right? Besides, I'm worried about the**

**Professor, too.**

**Colette: Thanks, both of you.**

**Lloyd: Let's go, you two!**

**Colette: Okay!**

**Genis: Yeah!**

**All Consoles:**

**Lloyd's group proceeds towards the entrance to Martel Temple. The camera**

**switches to an old woman who is guarding the entrance and a man with a group of**

**soldiers approaches her.**

Botta gasped "It's me!"

Kratos had nothing to say but, "…Wow…"

"He has weird hair," noted Yuan, taking up the role of stating the obvious.

"He looks kind of like Hawk," observed Emil.

Botta sighed. "I can't say I'm happy with my character…"

**Man: Where is the Chosen?**

"Oh cool, he has a British accent!" said Lloyd excitedly, proving his marvelous ability to be easily amused and challengingly amused at the same time.

**The old woman stepped back a little and then, Lloyd's group arrived at the**

**scene.**

**Phaidra: Run, Colette!**

"She sounds really…" Genis trailed off.

Zelos finished his sentence for him. " …Old."

**The soldiers face Lloyd's group.**

**Desian Soldier 1: Lord Botta! There she is!**

"BWAHAHA!!!" cried Botta out of nowhere, making several people jump.

**Botta faces Colette.**

**Botta: Chosen One, your life is mine!**

**As with before, this doesn't look right in story form:**

Lloyd: No it's not.

Mithos: *turns into Yggy* Yes it is.

Lloyd: No it's not.

Yggy: Yes it is.

Lloyd: No it's not.

Yggy: Yes it is.

Lloyd: No it's –

Raine: Enough!

Yggy: Fine. *Turns back into Mithos*

**Lloyd draws his sword.**

**Lloyd: I won't let you Desians get away with anything!**

**Desian Soldier 1: Desians? …Hahaha!**

**Genis: What's so funny?!**

"Nothing. It's just that we're Renegades-" Botta took the reins and became Captain Obvious.

Yuan was tired of it all. "Oh, shut up."

**Desian Soldier 2: Well then, die at the hands of the Desians you so hate. Get**

**them!**

**Everyone fights the Desian Soldiers. After everyone defeats the Desian Soldiers, they retreat and then Vidarr appears at the scene with an iron spike ball and chain.**

**Vidarr: Do not get in our way!**

Lloyd and Genis deigned it appropriate to insert an inside joke into the situation. Lloyd began, "Well, we will anyway, because-"

Both Lloyd and Genis finished the sentence. "We're the main characters!"

**Lloyd's group fights Vidarr. Vidarr then executes his ball and chain attack on**

**Lloyd's group and they got wounded.**

**Genis: This guy's strong!**

**Lloyd: Man, this guy is really tough!**

Lloyd jumped into the air and started ranting at the TV. "NONSENSE! I was totally pwning that guy! I had doged his attacks, and then he did some weird magic thing, and-"

Genis sighed. "Shut up, Lloyd, it's a video game."

**Just as Vidarr's ball and chain was about to strike Lloyd, another mysterious**

**man appeared at the scene and prevented the attack.**

Lloyd sat down. "Way to make an entrance, Kratos."

Zelos added, "Yeah, he just poofed out of midair!"

Kratos stretched out his hand to Mithos and Yuan. "Ha! Pay up!"

They sighed, looking unhappy, then each placed a ten-dollar-bill in Kratos's outstretched palm.

Botta looked up. "You owe me one of those tens."

Kratos groaned. " …fine."

Zelos inquired, "What were they betting over?"

Presea answered in a monotone. "…Who would appear in the game first."

"Oh," said Lloyd, who had overheard.

**Lloyd: Who are you?**

Kratos randomly became Darth Vader. "Luke, I am your father."

Lloyd had nothing to say to this.

**Mysterious Man: Get out of the way.**

**All consoles, with Kratos, fight Vidarr. **

"How do I fight as me?" asked Kratos, surprisingly not knowing how.

Botta answered his question. "Set '????' to Semi-Auto then switch controllers with me."

Kratos did so.

**After everyone defeats Vidarr…**

**Botta: I never thought you'd show up. Damn… Retreat for now!**

**Botta and the soldiers retreated from the scene. Later…**

**Colette: Amazing!…**

**Genis: This guy's incredibly strong!**

"Yes, I am," said Kratos modestly.

Not to be outclassed, Mithos added, "And I'm his boss!"

Kratos just sighed with an air of, "Mithos is hopeless" about him.

**Lloyd: …Y…yeah. I…I suppose so…**

**Mysterious Man: …Is everyone all right? Hmm…no one seems to be hurt.**

**The mysterious man's Exsphere on his left hand glowed.**

**Lloyd: Is that an Exsphere?**

**Phaidra approaches Lloyd's group.**

**Phaidra: How can I ever thank you for saving the Chosen?**

**Mysterious Man: …I see. So this girl is the next Chosen.**

**Colette: That's right! I have to go accept the oracle! Grandmother, I'm going**

**to undergo the trial now.**

Zelos remarked "She's being sued for impersonating a Chosen."

**Colette approaches towards the entrance. The camera views the entrance of the**

**temple.**

**Lloyd: What trial?**

Zelos was upset that nobody responded to his previous joke, so he threw in another equally lame one. "The one for the parking ticket! Duh!"

**Mysterious Man: The monsters, I assume. An evil presence radiates from inside**

**this chapel.**

**Phaidra: Yes, that is correct. The Chosen is to receive judgment from heaven.**

**But the priests that were to accompany her fell at the hands of the Desians.**

**Lloyd: Then I'll take on the job of protecting Colette.**

**Phaidra: Lloyd? …I would be uneasy with just you.**

**Mysterious Man: Your name is Lloyd?**

Lloyd spoke his signature line. "Give me your name, and I shall give you mine."

Raine looked annoyed. "Please, stop it with that line. We all know who you are."

**Lloyd: Yeah, but who are you to ask for my name?**

Tenebie used Tenebie logic. "Well, technically, he didn't ask for your name. He asked for confirmation that your name was Lloyd."

Emil sighed and silently wondered why he would ever travel with Tenebie.

**Kratos: …I am Kratos, a mercenary. As long as you can pay me, I'll accept the**

**job of guarding the Chosen.**

**Phaidra: …Under the circumstances, I have little choice. Please be of service.**

"BWAHAHA!!" cried Mithos randomly.

"Hey, shut up, Genis!" yelled Lloyd. It was probably a reflex now.

Genis sighed. "I didn't say anything."

Lloyd blinked. "Oh. Well, shut up, Mithos!"

**Kratos: It's a deal, then.**

**Lloyd: W…wait! I'm going, too!**

**Kratos: Lloyd, you'll only get in the way. Be a good boy and wait here.**

Regal noted, "He sounds like he's talking to a dog."

Lloyd looked indignant. "What did he just say?"

Zelos was en persona main character. "I'm not going to let him insult me like that."

**C1 & C2:**

**Lloyd: What did you say?!**

**Kratos: Did I not make myself clear? You're a burden. Go home.**

Richter poked his head over from C4. "Oh, he's so polite."

**Colette: Um…Mr. Kratos, would it be okay to take Lloyd along, too?**

Kratos was amused by this. "Ha! Mr. Kratos!"

**Kratos: But…**

**Colette: Please. I get nervous when Lloyd's not around.**

**Kratos: …Do as you wish.**

**Colette and Kratos move on.**

**Lloyd: …Let's go, Genis!**

**Genis: What?! I'm going, too?!**

**Lloyd: Of course!**

**Kratos: This isn't a field trip, you know.**

"That's rather fun to say," noted Tenebie.

**Lloyd and Colette enter the temple.**

**Lloyd: Thanks, Colette…**

**Colette: It's the truth!**

**Genis follows Lloyd.**

Emil was nervous. "...Okay…"

Kratos adopted a fatherly tone. "He's my son. He needs to be respectful."

**C3 & C4:**

**Lloyd: …Gotcha. Then I'm just going to follow you on my own.**

**Kratos: You're a stubborn kid. Fine, do as you wish.**

**Lloyd: I'll just do that. (to Genis) Let's go, Genis!**

**Genis: Lloyd, I figured you were going to say that.**

**Lloyd: Of course!**

**Kratos: This isn't a field trip, you know.**

**All consoles:**

**Lloyd's group proceeds inside the temple. In the lobby…**

**Lloyd: So this is what the inside of the temple is like.**

**Genis: (to Colette) Colette, you've been in here many times, right?**

**Colette: Yeah, but it seems different than usual.**

**Kratos: I sense the presence of monsters. Don't let your guard down.**

**Lloyd: We can handle a few measly monsters. Let's go.**

Genis smirked. "Oh really?"

**Kratos: Wait. Lloyd… are your sword techniques self-taught?**

**Lloyd: Yeah. That's right.**

**Kratos approaches Lloyd and gives him a Training Manual.**

**Lloyd: What is this thing?**

"Something to help you in life," said Kratos profoundly.

**Kratos: If you are going to use a sword, then at least learn the basics. You**

**want to protect the Chosen, don't you?**

**Lloyd: Humph! You think you know so much!**

Raine felt the need to correct her student's mistake. "He does 'know so much'."

"Stop ganging up on me!" whined Lloyd.

**Once again, it would mess up the fanfic to put this in story format, so I'm leaving it as-is.**

**C1:**

Lloyd: Oh cool! We get to walk around! Yay!

Raine: This appears to be a dungeon.

Lloyd: Done…gin…?

Genis: *facepalm*

**C2:**

Zelos: Yay! I get to move around.

Regal: I think this is a dungeon.

Sheena: You mean like the bottom floor of a castle?

Presea: In this case, dungeon means a temple or dark building in a video game in which one must solve puzzles in order to move on.

Sheena: Oh.

**C3:**

Kratos: This is a dungeon. Let us proceed to the next screen.

Yuan: Okay.

**C4:**

Tenebie: Ooh, a dungeon!

Emil: What's that?

Richter: It's a place with a puzzle one must solve in order to advance further in the plot.

Marta: Well, let's go to the next screen then! Get on with it!

Author's note: Sorry for leaving some of it in MST form, but it would ruin some of the jokes if I made it story form (I write it originally in MST form because it's easier.)

But yeah. Hopefully I'll update more often, but no guarantees.


	4. Chapter 4

**Lloyd's group moves on to the next area. In the area with a glowing stone on**

**the pedestal from far away…**

**Genis: Look, look! There's something glowing.**

**Lloyd: Wow! Let's go see it!**

"He's so easily amused…" commented Kratos.

**Colette: Look, there's something here.**

**Lloyd's group turns around and saw a Golem. Lloyd's group fights Golem. After**

**Lloyd's group defeats Golem, it turned into a block.**

**Colette: Wow! It turned into a rock!**

**Lloyd: Well, it was kind of a rock to begin with.**

**Colette: Oops!**

**Colette lost her balance and fell towards the block and to the floor. The block**

**falls into a hole.**

**Lloyd: Uh…**

**The block created one of the paths to the glowing item.**

**Colette: Oh, no!**

**Genis: I get it.**

**Kratos: I see.**

**Lloyd: What are you two talking about?**

**Genis: In just a moment, it'll probably… See, there it is.**

Richter pondered, "Somehow they know everything…?"

**Suddenly, another Golem appeared at the scene.**

**Lloyd: Whoa, there's another one!**

**Genis: Now, let's take care of it and drop it down below!**

**Lloyd looks confused for a bit. After that, Lloyd's group solved the puzzle of**

**creating a path to the glowing item by defeating Golems and dropping blocks.**

Genis racked his brain. "What's odd is… I don't remember this actually happening…"

"Let's go to the sides and get the Treasure chests!" shouted Colette excitedly.

Lloyd agreed. "Yeah!"

**Lloyd's group proceeds to the area with the glowing item.**

**Genis: Is this the Sorcerer's Ring? I've heard about it before. It's a holy**

**artifact of the Church of Martel!**

**Kratos: With this, we should be able to deal with most traps and obstacles.**

"Ooh, cool, we get a toy!" commented Sheena.

Zelos sighed. "I don't even need to say anything at this point…"

**Lloyd: Wow! Let me try it!**

**Colette: Okay, Lloyd.**

**Genis: …You're like a little kid.**

Kratos, in epic fatherly awesomeness, felt the need to comment, "…He _is_ a little kid."

Lloyd objected. "Hey!"

**Lloyd's group received the Sorcerer's Ring. After that, Lloyd's group proceeds**

**back to the lobby of the temple and approaches the sealed door.**

**Kratos: It's sealed.**

**Colette: The Sorcerer's Ring can probably open it.**

"Of course it can. Otherwise it would be unnecessary. Why, these video games are all the same!" ranted Tenebie.

"When have you ever played a different game, Tenebrae?" inquired Emil.

Tenebie looked offended. "Hmph. You don't need to know."

Marta whispered, "That's just his way of saying never."

**Lloyd: Okay! Leave it to me!**

**Lloyd uses the Sorcerer's Ring on the sealed door and it opened.**

**Lloyd: Oh. Is this all the Sorcerer's Ring does?**

**Genis: You get bored so easily.**

**Lloyd's group takes the teleporter to the chamber of the Chosen. Inside…**

**Kratos: This appears to be the top floor.**

**Colette: Yes. That's the altar.**

**Lloyd: Then that shining thing there must be the Cruxis Crystal.**

**Colette: That's right. They say I was born with that in my hand.**

**Genis: Look at that light!**

"GAAAHHHH!! THE LIGHT!! IT BURNSSSS!!!" screamed Yuan randomly.

Kratos commented, "It's the light at the end of the tunnel."

Tenebie paled. "…I hate light."

**Suddenly, a winged priest appeared from above the scene.**

**Lloyd: Wh…what is that?**

**Kratos: An angel, I would assume.**

**Genis: So is that Colette's real father?**

"PFFFFTTT!!!", snorted Mithos loudly.

"Oh, shut up," groaned Genis.

**Remiel: I am Remiel. I am an angel of judgment. I am here to guide Colette,**

**daughter of the mana lineage, on her journey to heaven as the seventh Chosen.**

Lloyd burst into song. "Judgement! Judgement! Sacred Powers! Judgement! Judgement! Rest in peace, sinners!"

**Remiel descends a little.**

**Remiel: The time has come to awaken the Goddess Martel, who sleeps at the**

**center of the world.**

**Genis: Awaken the Goddess Martel… It's just like the legend Raine told us about.**

**Remiel gives the glowing item to Colette.**

Lloyd's eyes sparkled excitedly. "Ooooh! It's a shiny!"

Genis sighed. "…You're so easily amused, Lloyd…"

**Remiel: From this moment, Colette becomes the Chosen of Regeneration. We of**

**Cruxis bless this event, and hereby bestow the Tower of Salvation upon**

**Sylvarant.**

**We watch a movie of the view of the Tower of Salvation.**

"…It's a giant stick sticking up out of the ground," observed Tenebie.

Kratos contemplated. "You're right. I never thought of how boring it could sound."

A mental connection formed in the head of the unexpected anime addict, Genis. "It looks like the orbital elevators from Gundam 00!"

**After that…**

**Lloyd: So that's the Tower of Salvation!**

**Genis: Now the world will be saved!**

**Remiel: Colette, the Chosen of Regeneration. Unlock the seals that guard the**

**Tower of Salvation and climb its stairs to heaven in distant lands.**

**Colette: I humbly accept this task.**

**Remiel: Very good. We of Cruxis shall grant you the power of the angels with**

**each seal you unlock. Once you are reborn as an angel, this eroded world shall**

**be regenerated.**

"Remiel has the voice of a movie announcer," observed Sheena

**Colette: Thank you. I swear on my life I will regenerate the world.**

**Remiel: First head south, to the Seal of Fire. Offer your prayers in that**

**distant land.**

**Colette: Yes, Lord Remiel.**

**Just as Remiel ascends away from the scene…**

**Colette: Uh, wait! Please wait! I have a question I wish to ask of you. Are you**

**really my fa—**

**Remiel: First head to the Seal of Fire. Understood? My beloved daughter,**

**Colette.**

**Colette: F…father!…So you really are my true father.**

**Remiel: We shall meet again at the next seal, my daughter.**

Genis waved his fist at the screen. "That guy is full of such complete BS-"

Raine slapped him. "Be polite."

**Remiel ascends away from the scene. Lloyd talks to Genis.**

**Genis: So that was the oracle. I wish Raine could have seen him.**

**Lloyd talks to Colette.**

**Colette: I can't believe Remiel is my father… I'm all right. I was just a**

**little surprised. That's all.**

**Lloyd talks to Kratos.**

**Kratos: Colette must now go on a long journey to search for those seals.**

**Later…**

**Kratos: (to Colette) You've received the oracle. Then let us leave now, Chosen.**

**Colette: …Oh, yes.**

**Kratos: We're going on ahead.**

**Kratos takes the teleporter to the lobby of the temple.**

**Colette: Uh…thank you, both of you. Please stop by my house later.**

**Colette takes the teleporter to the lobby of the temple.**

**Lloyd: She left…**

**Genis: The rumor was true.**

Zelos shouted randomly. "No it wasn't! Don't believe those lies! Don't trust the media! Nothing anyone ever says is true!!!"

Mithos looked wounded. "I am deeply offended by that fact."

Lloyd unsheathed one of his swords and pointed it at Mithos. "Why? Is it because you ARE the media??"

Mithos tried to bring the anti-plot back on track. "Please, let's avoid any potential plot and get on with the game."

**Lloyd: What rumor?**

**Genis: That Colette is the daughter of an angel and is not really related to**

**her current father.**

**Lloyd: Even if you're not related by blood, family is family… At least, that's**

**what I think.**

**Genis: I…I'm sorry.**

**Lloyd: Hey, don't worry about it.**

**Lloyd and Genis takes the teleporter to the lobby of the temple. In the lobby,**

**Lloyd and Genis saw Raine who is doing researching.**

**Raine: MARVELOUS!**

Genis paled. "Oh shit. Ruin Mode."

Raine looked appalled. "WHAT did you say?"

"Uh… I said, 'Raine's Ruin Mode is very educational'," stammered a nervous Genis.

Raine slapped him.

**Lloyd: …Professor?**

**Raine turned and faces Lloyd and Genis.**

**Raine: What? What are you two doing here?! You're supposed to be studying in**

**class!**

**Lloyd: Uh! Uh-oh…**

**Raine angrily approaches Genis.**

**Genis: Raine! I…I'm sorry!**

**The camera briefly blacks out and shows Lloyd who closes his eyes. Raine**

**grabbed Genis and spanked his butt. After that…**

"GAAAHH!!!" screamed Genis randomly.

**Raine: …You're next, Lloyd. Are you ready?**

**Lloyd opens his eye.**

**Lloyd: Whoa, no, hey, stop!**

**Raine kicks Lloyd with a bright flash on the camera.**

**Lloyd: Oww!**

"That is one violent woman," observed Kratos

Tenebie agreed. "Indeed."

**Lloyd got knocked to the wall. Afterwards…**

**Raine: Now, you two, if you've learned your lesson, go back home. There will be**

**no class for the rest of the day.**

**Genis: What about you?**

**Raine: I've received permission from Phaidra to study this temple a little**

**while longer. It's not often that ordinary citizens have the opportunity to**

**enter this place.**

**Raine left the scene. As Lloyd and Genis approaches the exit…**

**Unknown Voice: MUHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Lloyd: What was that?**

**There was a brief pause.**

**Genis: …You're better off knowing.**

"We never did find out," complained Lloyd.

Genis facepalmed before answering. "…It was Raine."

"The Professor is that evil sounding?" inquired Lloyd, surprised.

Zelos objected to Genis's answer. "That can't have been Raine. It was probably just some monster."

A set of ellipses marks appeared above Genis's head.

**Lloyd and Genis exit Martel Temple and proceed back to Iselia. In Iselia, Lloyd**

**and Genis enter Colette's house. Inside, the mayor sits down with Kratos,**

**Colette and her family at a table.**

**Mayor: Then, we shall entrust the protection of the Chosen to Kratos and Raine.**

**Kratos: I have no objections.**

**Colette: Thank you so much for your help earlier!**

**Lloyd and Genis arrived at the scene.**

**Phaidra: Ohh, you're back! Thank you for your assistance earlier! Please accept**

**this small thanks.**

**Lloyd and Genis received the Collector's Book.**

**Genis: Thank you.**

**Lloyd: Thanks, Phaidra. Say, were you talking about the world regeneration**

**journey just now?**

Colette decided to attempt to sound mysterious while laughing. "…Maybe. Maaaaybe. Maaaybe not."

**Phaidra: Yes.**

**Lloyd: Wow! I want to go, too! I wanna see Colette regenerate the world!**

**Genis: If Raine is going, I want to go, too.**

**Kratos: No. You'll get in the way.**

**Lloyd: Wh…what?!**

**Kratos: The battles at the chapel were nothing compared to the journey that**

**awaits us. Children need to stay home.**

**Mayor: Kratos is absolutely right. Now then, we still have things to discuss.**

**You two should go on home.**

Richter noticed something amusing and said, "It sounds like he should be saying, 'Your mother is absolutely right'."

Kratos looked offended. "…What are you implying?"

**Outside, as Lloyd and Genis walks away from the scene, Colette opened the door**

**and came out.**

**Colette: Please, wait!**

**Colette approaches Lloyd and Genis and then she lost her balance and fell to**

**the floor. Colette gets up after that.**

**Colette: I'm sorry.**

**Lloyd: It's not like it's your fault.**

**Colette: Oh yeah…I'm sorry.**

**Lloyd: Listen! Ah, never mind.**

**Genis: Oh yeah, happy birthday, Colette!**

**Lloyd looked puzzled.**

**Genis: I baked you some cookies. If I knew you'd be leaving tomorrow, I**

**would've made something a little more special, but…**

**Colette: No, no, I love your cookies! Thank you very much!**

"Yeah, Genis, everyone loves your cookies," said Lloyd eagerly.

"Uh…thanks?" said Genis. "But you still don't get any. MY cookies."

**Genis: (to Lloyd) So what about you, Lloyd? You promised to make her a**

**necklace, right?**

**Lloyd: …Uhhh…heh…**

**Genis: …Don't tell me you forgot.**

"He always forgets," commented Genis matter-of-factly.

**Lloyd: Uh, it's…it's almost done. Uh, I'll give it to you…tomorrow, before you**

**leave. I swear!**

**Colette: Really? I'm so happy! As soon as I find out when we're leaving, I'll**

**go to your house to let you know.**

**Lloyd: Isn't it going to be dangerous?**

**Colette: I'm the Chosen, remember? I'll be fine. See you later, then.**

**Colette went back to her house and closed the door.**

**Genis: …Liar.**

"NONSENSE!!" shouted Lloyd suddenly. "I had the basic idea in my head! I just had to…"

Genis finished his sentence for him. "...Actually do the work?"

"Yeah, that," answered Lloyd

Colette looked offended. "You never told me you forgot, Lloyd!"

"Heh. Heh. Heh," stammered Lloyd nervously.

**Lloyd: If I start on it now, I'll finish it in time.**

**Genis: Oh, really? Well, whatever. By the way, you're going home now, right?**

**Can I go part of the way with you?**

**Lloyd: Sure, but where are you going to go?**

**Genis: I'm going to see a friend.**

"He's going to see that dog that he's always feeding," shouted Lloyd.

Genis objected "She's not a dog, she's a person!"

Lloyd looked sad. "Yeah…"

"I miss her…" said Genis.

**Lloyd: Huh? I didn't know you had friends outside the village besides me.**

"Gee, thanks," said Genis sarcastically.

**Genis: Does it matter? Anyway, can we swing by my house so I can get my stuff?**

Lloyd inquired curiously, "Did you ever end up getting anything anyway?"

"I got food," answered Genis bluntly.

"That's important, so good," commented Lloyd.


	5. Chapter 5

Look at me, I'm updating for the first time since March!

_________

**Before Lloyd and Genis go to Genis' house, they stop by in the classroom and**

**talk to Raine.**

**Genis: Hey, it's Raine.**

**Lloyd: Professor.**

**Lloyd and Genis approaches Raine. Raine turns around and faces Lloyd and Genis.**

**Raine: Oh, Lloyd, Genis. Class is over for today.**

Lloyd snorted. "Heh. As if we'd come back for class after we'd left."

Genis started to warn him. "Shh-" He was too late. Raine slapped Lloyd

**Lloyd: We know that. I heard that you're going with Colette on the journey?**

**Raine: Yes, that's right. It's too dangerous a journey to send Colette alone.**

**Lloyd: But then, what's Genis going to do?**

**Raine: I asked Frank and Phaidra to take care of him.**

**Genis: Raine…I…**

**Raine: Genis…I promise I'll come back, so please, don't look like that. (to**

**Lloyd) Lloyd, please look after Genis for me.**

**Lloyd: Yeah…**

**Genis: Please be careful, Raine. Don't do anything dangerous and don't go near**

**any ruins.**

Emil looked confused. "Why should she stay away from ruins?"

Genis grinned. "You'll see. It's scary."

"WHAT did you say?" asked Raine, offended.

"…nothing…"

**Raine: I'll be fine.**

**Genis: Promise me you'll come back!**

**Lloyd and Genis proceed to Genis' house and inside…**

**Genis: Let's see… There should be some ingredients for sandwiches in here…**

**Lloyd: When you said you wanted to get ready, you meant picking up ingredients?**

**Why are you bothering with that?**

Genis looked puzzled. "Lloyd… Why are you asking why I'm getting food?"

Lloyd seemed offended. "This game must be wrong. I mean, it's _food_…"

**Genis: You shouldn't make fun of cooking, Lloyd. We can't use healing arts, so**

**we need to use food to keep up our strength.**

**Lloyd: Yeah, I guess you're right. Apple Gels aren't cheap, after all.**

**Genis: Exactly. Cooking is important.**

**Lloyd and Genis received some ingredients for Sandwiches. After that, Lloyd and**

**Genis approach the other exit. Near the exit…**

**Guard 1: Lloyd! Do something about this thing!**

"Noishe is not a thing! He's a dog! Be nice to him!" Lloyd would not stand for anyone being rude to Noishe.

**Lloyd: What?**

**Guard 2: Your pet! This…creature!**

**Lloyd: Noishe!**

**Lloyd approaches his pet dog, Noishe.**

**Noishe: (Whine)**

**Lloyd: Hey! How many times have I told you not to enter the village?!**

Noishe whined.

**Genis: Hey, you always have him bring you to the village! Don't talk to him**

**that way!**

**Guard 2: Oh, that reminds me. Lloyd, the Mayor wanted me to ask you a question.**

**Lloyd: From the Mayor? What is it?**

**Guard 2: It's about the northwest forest that you go through. You know there's**

**a human ranch on the way through, right? You haven't been playing near the**

**ranch, have you?**

Genis looked nervous. "Uhh… nope. Not at all. Why would we play near the ranch, that wouldn't make sense. I mean, it's not like we blew it up or anything. Not at all. Nothing of the sort. Absolutely not."

Lloyd sighed. "Genis, you're a terrible liar."

**Lloyd: Of course not! Right, Genis?**

**Genis: Y…yeah. Of course not.**

**Guard 2: Really? If so, that's fine, but…that weird animal…**

**Lloyd: How many times do I have to tell you that Noishe is a dog?!**

"Um… Lloyd? He's actually not a dog…" Genis said.

Lloyd glared at him. "Yes. He. Is."

Genis sighed. "Okay, fine, have it your way."

"Burger King!" shouted Kratos unexpectedly.

Lloyd and Genis answered this at the same time. "What?"

Kratos mentally rolled his eyes. "Ah, never mind."

**Guard 2: Ah, sorry. He just doesn't look like a dog… Anyway, make sure he**

**doesn't go near the ranch, either.**

Kratos tried to convince Lloyd, "He really isn't a dog…"

Lloyd looked hurt. "But everybody always told me he was a dog!"

Emil nodded in agreement. "He looks like a dog to me."

"What are you talking about? He's obviously not a dog," objected Marta.

Noishe whined.

**Genis: W…we can go now, right? Let's go, Lloyd.**

**Guard 1: Be careful, you two.**

**Lloyd: We will. See you tomorrow. (to Noishe) Time to go, Noishe.**

**Noishe: (Whine)**

**Lloyd: By the way, Noishe, why were you trying to go into the village?**

**Noishe: (Whine)**

"I wonder if Noishe can talk and he's really just whining because he doesn't want us to know that he can talk," speculated Emil.

Tenebie sighed. "And what reason would he have for hiding that from us?"

Colette looked excited. You could almost see the lightbulb above her head. In fact, you could. "Maybe he wants to show up when Lloyd most needs help and save the day!"

"Couldn't he do that without talking?" asked Tenebie.

Colette paused for a moment before answering, "But then when Lloyd thanks him he'll be able to say something heroic, like, 'It was all in a days work,' or 'It was nothing.'"

Genis sighed, "That doesn't seem to fit Noishe's personality…"

Noishe whined. Again.

Lloyd turned to Noishe, "I'm sorry about the conspiracies about you, boy."

Raine looked surprised. "Lloyd!"

Lloyd was startled. "What is it, Professor? Please don't give me homework on Noishe."

The look on Raine's face was that of a proud teacher. "I can't believe you know what 'conspiracies' means!"

"Heh…" said Lloyd nervously.

**Genis: He was probably looking for you.**

**Lloyd: You think so?**

**Lloyd and Genis proceed to Iselia Forest. In there…**

**Noishe: (Whine)**

**Lloyd and Genis looked puzzled.**

**Genis: Ah, that's right. Noishe doesn't like this place.**

**Lloyd: He'll never go near places like this that have lots of monsters. Even**

**though you hardly ever see monsters bigger than him.**

**Noishe: (Whine)**

**Noishe ran off from the scene.**

**Lloyd: Ah, he ran off again! Fine, do whatever you want, Noishe.**

**Genis: I keep thinking, if he's going to run away, he should at least take us**

**with him.**

"I don't see why Noishe is always running away from monsters. I mean, he could probably fight really well. I bet she could even beat Mithos or Kratos!" said Colette matter-of-factly.

Kratos looked proud. "Noishe would never fight me… However, he never did seem to like Mithos."

Genis grinned. "Hey Colette, let's test that theory."

Lloyd turned to Noishe, saying, "Hey Noishe! Go fight Mithos! I'll give you a treat if you do."

Mithos looked up, startled. "Hey, why's this dog running toward me? ARGH!"

Kratos waved a little red flag. "Noishe 1, Mithos 0!"

Mithos groaned. He was a bad loser. "No fair, he had the element of surprise!"

Lloyd looked thoughtful. "I think we should have had Noishe fight with us. Fights would have been so much easier."

Genis sighed wistfully. "It's a shame he's scared of monsters…"

**Lloyd and Genis move on. In the area near the human ranch…**

**Genis: Here's my stop.**

**Lloyd: At the Desian human ranch? Doesn't going there violate the**

**non-aggression treaty?**

**Genis: The Desians already attacked the temple!**

Yuan looked smug. "Except those were the Renegades. See, Botta, I told you that dressing them like Desians was a good idea!"

"But the costumes are ridiculous!" retorted Botta.

Mithos looked offended. "Hey, I designed those!." They ignored him.

Colette looked knowing. "I'm surprised the Desians and Lloyd and everybody didn't realize that the Renegades were different people."

Genis was puzzled. "What do you mean, Colette?"

Colette continued, "Well, the Renegades do that weird thing with their arms. And don't their arms get tired after holding them out so stiffly like that? Unless… I bet they have something in the uniform that supports their arms so that they don't get tired!"

Lloyd found a flaw in that. "But then wouldn't it be hard to move their arms to do anything?"

Genis thought before saying, "Come to think of it, when we saw them, did they ever have to move their arms?"

"…Good point," admitted Lloyd.

**Lloyd: Hmm, well, yeah, I guess that's true, but…**

**Genis: I know I'm not supposed to… But there's someone I just have to tell**

**about the oracle.**

**Lloyd: All right. But I'm worried about you going alone, so I'm going with you.**

**Lloyd and Genis approach the Desian human ranch. In the Desian human ranch,**

**the human slaves were pushing heavy blocks to the designated area. One of the**

**female slave tried to push the block as hard as she could. One of the Desian**

**soldier cracked his whip on the female slave.**

**Desian Soldier: Hey! Stop slacking off, swine!**

"Is this what human ranches were like? It's horrible!" said Emil, horrified.

"I think it's a good thing that we blew them all up," remarked Genis.

"Self-Destruct is just such a _fun_ button to push…" sighed Raine.

Genis backed away slowly. "I think she's insane…"

Raine slapped Genis.

"Ow!"

**Lloyd and Genis approaches to the left of the entrance to a wired fence. The**

**camera shows an old female slave seeing the other slaves pushing blocks and she**

**tries to hide to another area.**

**Genis: Marble.**

**The old female slave will be known as Marble from this point on.**

**Marble: Genis! Is that your friend?**

**Lloyd: Yeah, I'm Lloyd.**

**Marble: I'm pleased to meet you.**

"Hey Genis, how did you come to know Marble anyway?" inquired Lloyd.

Genis answered, "I came to the ranch one day not knowing what it was, and Marble warned me to get away from there fast, or unspeakable things would happen to me. And she was just so nice, I started talking to her. I miss her…"

Lloyd was apologetic. "I'm sorry, Genis…"

**Genis: Marble, did you see it? There was an oracle!**

**Marble: Yes I did. I saw the Tower of Salvation. Now, the Chosen's journey of**

**regeneration can finally begin. I hope it is successful this time…**

**Lloyd: The last Chosen failed, right?**

**Marble: Yes. I heard the Chosen was killed by Desians during the journey.**

**Genis: I wonder if Colette will be all right?…**

Colette seemed grateful. "Thanks for worrying about me, Genis."

**Marble: Let us pray to Martel. May she guide the Chosen on a safe journey.**

**Lloyd: …Hey grams—**

"Lloyd, be polite," chastised Raine.

**Genis: Her name's Marble!**

**Suddenly, Marble's right hand made a brief glow.**

**Lloyd: …Marble. Isn't that an Exsphere?**

**Marble: Oh, is that what this is called? They placed it on me shortly after I**

**came here.**

**Lloyd: Yeah, that's definitely an Exsphere. But there's no Key Crest on it. An**

**Exsphere without a Key Crest is dangerous.**

**Genis: What's a Key Crest? And how is it dangerous?**

**Lloyd: Attaching an Exsphere directly to your skin supposedly makes you sick.**

**But ironically, it's useless unless you attach it directly onto the skin. So in**

**order to prevent it from making you sick, you carve a spell into a special ore**

**and use that as a mount for the Exsphere. That's the Key Crest.**

"Why is it called a Key Crest, anyway?" inquired Genis.

Lloyd seemed interested in the answer as well. "I dunno. I'll have to ask Dad…:

**Marble: You're very knowledgeable.**

Genis laughed. "Ha ha ha! Lloyd, knowledgeable?"

Raine seemed to be of the opinion that Marble was brain-damaged. "I think this might be the only thing Lloyd actually knows."

Lloyd ignored Raine. "Hey, shut up, Genis!"

**Genis: But it looks like Marble's Exsphere doesn't have a mount at all.**

**Lloyd: Nope, doesn't look like it. If the charm was the only thing needed, I**

**could carve one myself, but there's nothing I can do without the inhibitor ore**

**that acts as the mount.**

**Genis: There has to be something you can do, Lloyd!**

**Lloyd: It's not as easy as you think. Key Crests are dwarven technology.**

**Genis: Your dad's a dwarf! Please ask him for help, Lloyd!**

Lloyd looked determined. "We have to agree!"

"Yes," agreed Genis.

Emil also looked determined. "We have to agree. It would be horrible if something happened to Marble!"

**C1 & C4**

**Lloyd: Fine, fine. I'll ask him.**

**Genis: All right! That's why I like you, Lloyd.**

Kratos seemed curious. "I wonder what happens if you disagree…"

"Wouldn't it be too much extra work for Dirk to have to make it? Maybe Lloyd should try to find some other way…" It seemed Regal cared more about Dirk's thoughts than Lloyd's. Poor Lloyd.

**C2 & C3**

**Lloyd: But…I don't know what he's gonna say about this.**

**Genis: Oh, come on! You're the one that brought up the Key Crest in the first**

**place!**

**Lloyd: Okay, okay, I'll ask him.**

**All consoles:**

**Marble: Please don't trouble yourself.**

**Voice of Desian Soldier 1: Hey, old hag! What the hell you doin' over there?**

**Marble: (glances back) Oh, no! The Desians! Run away, you two! Hurry!**

Yuan remarked, "I have a sense of self-preservation."

"I think it would be best if we were to get out of here," noted Presea.

**C2 & C3**

**Lloyd: …Okay. I'm sorry!**

**Marble: Don't worry…just go!**

**Genis: I'm sorry Marble!**

"I don't want Marble to get hurt," said Emil.

Genis looked worried. "We should try to make sure she stays okay."

**C1 & C4**

**Lloyd: But who knows what they may do to her.**

**Genis: I know that, but what can we do? If the Desians find out we're here,**

**just think about what they'll do to Marble and the people of the village!**

**Marble: That's right. You must go.**

**Lloyd: I'm sorry, grams!**

"HER NAME'S MARBLE!" shouted Genis.

Lloyd was taken aback. "Sorry, Genis. Geez…"

**All consoles:**

**Lloyd and Genis fled the scene. The camera shows three Desian soldiers facing**

**towards Marble.**

**Desian Soldier 1: What are you doing over here?! Who said you could slack off?!**

**Get back to work!**

**Marble: …I'm sorry.**

**Desian Soldier 2: What's with that look, huh?**

**Desian Soldier 3: Looks like someone's got an attitude problem!**

**Marble: No, of course not, I…**

**Desian Soldier 1: Shaddup! You two, take her to the back! We're gonna give her**

**a little lesson on respect!**

**Desian Soldier 2: Yeah!**

**Desian Soldier 3: Yeah!**

**The Desian soldiers take Marble to the back. The camera shows Lloyd and Genis**

**hiding in the bushes.**

**Lloyd: Oh, this doesn't look good. They're taking her to the back.**

**Genis: But what can we do?**

Lloyd curled his hand into a fist. "Let's go fight them! The Desians are horrible."

Genis seemed to be using more logic and less violence. "But what about Iselia?"

Lloyd paused. "True…"

**Lloyd: There's gotta be something we can do. Let's find higher ground where we**

**can see what's going on in there.**

**Lloyd and Genis find the cliff and approach them.**

**Lloyd: It looks like we can go up from here.**

**Lloyd and Genis manage to climb to the higher level of the cliff. The camera**

**then shows the Desian soldiers continuously cracking their whips on Marble. The**

**camera then views Lloyd and Genis.**

**Genis: She's…**

**Lloyd: …We've gotta save her!**

**Genis: But how?!**

**Lloyd: You attack the Desians from here with magic.**

**Genis: What?! Aren't we gonna get in trouble?!**

**Lloyd: We don't have a choice! Afterwards, hide among the bushes and make your**

**way back to the village. I'll act as a decoy.**

**Genis: But that'll put you in danger!**

**Lloyd: Don't worry. I'll head down the cliff so they don't see my face, then**

**I'll run in the opposite direction from the village.**

Kratos sighed. His son was so stupid sometimes. It must have come from Anna's side of the family. "Lloyd, I think I see a flaw in your plan."

Lloyd raised his eyebrows in surprise. "What is it?"

Kratos rolled his eyes. "How many people dress as outlandishly as you do?"

Lloyd looked defensive. "I'm sure there's someone else who wears red!"

**Genis thinks for a brief moment.**

**Genis: …Okay! You should replenish your energy before we do this. I've got some**

**leftover cookies from the ones I gave to Colette. Here, have some.**

An image of cookies popped into Lloyd's mind. "Mmm, cookies from Genis. His cookies are great."

Genis was pleased. "Thanks, Lloyd. I think it's a good thing I didn't let Raine help like she wanted to."

Raine looked up, annoyed. "Excuse me?"

Genis ducked. "Uh… nothing…"

**Lloyd ate the cookies that Genis gave him and Lloyd is fully healed. Genis uses**

**his Kendama to launch fireballs at the 3 Desian soldiers. The fireball struck**

**the soldiers.**

_Author's note: The tenses there make me wince, but I'm too lazy to change them._

**Desian Soldier 3: What the?!**

**Lloyd makes his move and jumps to the main ground near the ranch.**

**Desian Soldier 1: There he is! Stop him!**

**Desian Soldier 3: Open the main gate!**

**The main gate opens and the Desian soldiers searches for Lloyd. The camera**

**shows the slaves who are checking on Marble.**

**Slave 1: Are you all right, Marble?**

**Slave 2: Quickly, come this way!**

**Marble: (to herself) Genis, Lloyd…thank you.**

**The camera shows Lloyd who is being chased by the Desian soldiers. Genis gets**

**off the cliff and as he tries to meet up with Lloyd, he lost his balance and**

**fell to the floor.**

**Genis: Owww…**

**Desian Soldier 2: What was that?**

"It doesn't seem like Genis's 'Ow' was loud enough for them to hear it," noted Sheena.

**Lloyd: Uh-oh!**

**Lloyd goes back and faces the soldiers. Lloyd draws his sword.**

**Design Soldier 3: You…little brat!**

**Lloyd fights the Desian soldiers. After Lloyd defeats the Desian soldiers, more**

**Desian soldiers came out. Lloyd jumps off the cliff. The camera switches to**

**Genis who got away from the human ranch. Then, the camera shows Lloyd landing**

**from the cliff jump and met up with Genis.**

**Genis: Lloyd, they saw your face! I'm sorry! It's all my fault…**

**Lloyd: Don't worry about it.**

**Genis: But…**

**Lloyd: I took out the ones that saw my face, and the rest of them are still**

**back up on the cliff. As long as we hurry up and get out of here, they'll never**

**know.**

Mithos grinned. "You do know that they have cameras, right?"

Lloyd looked surprised. Again. "They do? CRAP. No wonder they knew it was me."

Genis facepalmed. "Are you saying even now you didn't realize they didn't have cameras? That's just sad."

"Shut up, Genis," said Lloyd, disgruntled.

**Genis: O…okay.**

**Lloyd: Just do my homework for me, okay?**

**Genis: …Okay.**

Raine was appalled. "WHAT? Lloyd? How dare you? Your homework is supposed to be your own work, not anyone else's!"

Lloyd tried to cover for himself. "I was joking…"

Genis refused to accept it. "No you weren't!"

"Shh, Genis!"

Raine slapped Lloyd. This was becoming a recurring theme.

**Lloyd: All right then, I'm gonna head on home. You should head back to the**

**village.**

**Genis: Lloyd, thanks for helping Marble.**

**Lloyd: Hey, that's what friends are for, right?**

**Genis left the scene. The camera shows the ranch with a mysterious man with a**

**board shaped left arm.**

**Man with a Board-Shaped Arm: Analyze the data from the gate surveillance system!**

**Desian Soldier: Yes, sir!**

Mithos was pompous. Being right was fun. "See? They have cameras."

**The Desian soldiers left the scene.**

**Man with a Board-Shaped Arm: how did a mere human make that kind of jump?**

Lloyd grinned. "I'm just awesome that way."

Kratos looked at him. "It was your Exsphere."

"Oh shut up," said Lloyd, annoyed.

__________

Author's note: I may go back to the more random way of writing, as it was in chapters 1 and 2. However, I think that would make everybody a little bit more OoC. Though I thought it was funnier then. Please give me your preferences, I could go either way.


End file.
